Time flies ...

I was quite funny a decade ago.  I think.

Rehab Is For Queers

Not my words, you understand, but the phrase on the front of my nice new T-Shirt. I particularly like the way it insults two sets of people - our homosexual friends and those poor addict victims - at the same time. Quite an achievement.

Blogging is not for idle people & I am idle, but here's an entry.

I have been to Bangkok, Surat Thani, Ko Phangan, Ang Thong, Ko Samui, Phuket and am currently doing my PADI scuba diving certification on Ko Phi Phi. Have met lots of nice folks but rather miss the nice Austrian girl I "met" on Ko Samui. I'm f*cking shattered too. I've been drunk every night. EVERY night!

Diving finishes Saturday so I'll go out and get bolloxed that night then move on, either to Khao Sok or up North to Chang Mai. I'm covered in bites and scabs and all manner of filthy marks. Attractive, eh? I miss work. That's a lie.

T + 2

Have I only been in Thailand for two days? I've been packing it all in. I dumped my stuff in the hostel on Saturday at 6pm (after a pretty cool flight) and high-tailed it to a pub (Gullivers on Ko San Road, as recommended by Jacqui).

They had three live matches on but I concentrated on the Manc derby. Thought I must be looking hot as an incredibly fit looking Thai bird started chatting me up in pigeon English. (Yes, she was a female). But the guy next to me told me in a roundabout way that all the little sexy Thai chicks in the pub were prostitutes. Much like a pub back in England, but Thai chicks pefer hard cash rather than loads of drinks and a curry bought for them. Turned out he was right, but they charge a lot less than a curry costs. Or even an egg fried rice, come to think about it. Must investigate further when I get back to Bangkok in 25 days.

Anyway, I went with said lad to a strip joint and my jaw was hitting the ground at some of these chicks. Cheap as chips too. Due to jet lag I was unable to accept their kind offers of --insert anything you want here, quite literally--. Got a ride of a different kind back to the hostel on the back of some guy's motorbike. 15 of the best minutes of my life, Alton Towers has nothing on that trip, man. He nearly killed us about 7 times but all was well in the end & I even tipped him - about 8 pence. He seemed happy.

Dossed about in BK yesterday looking at a variety of Buddhas then caught the 6pm sleeper train to Surat Thurin (here). Met these 2 wicked blonde Kiwi chicks, got drunk with them on the train. Mentioned the prostitutes and the one said to me 'You don't need to pay for it, just find a drunk Kiwi bird'. If that's not a come-on I dunno what is. So I've got her number & meeting her on Ko Samui later in the week. She'd better make the trip worth while else there'll be Hell to pay!

So I'm meeting Patricia in an hour then we're catching the 11pm sleeper ferry to Ko Phangnan. The Full Moon Party is on Sunday so we have 6 days of relaxation ahead of us. I'm just gonna loll about on the beach perving over nearly naked women. Pretty average few days really. I hope I score with a chick. That'd be like, really good. You know? Eh? Eh?

And I'm sunburnt, it's fookin' boiling! OK, 3pm. Over & Out.

K.

1 Week 'Til Thailand

So I thought, "I must get everything organised well in advance so I'm not rushing."

Pity I didn't actually *do it*. So I have 7 very busy days ahead of me mainly involving shopping for everything, getting my jabs done, sorting my finances, losing half a stone ... ah, f*ck it.

I also need to get in touch with Tardy Leon - I know how Henry Stanley felt now.

Patricia seems to be having a good time, I feel I'm slightly cheating meeting someone out there but at least it means I'll be able to jump straight in & not have to learn the ropes & stuff. I've done some planning. I get into Bangkok @ 14:00 on Saturday, it's an hour into Central BK, I'm going to Ko San Road to a hostel there, having a kip then going to a bar the name of which I have forgotten to get drunk with a bunch of strangers. I'll wander around BK on the Sunday/Monday then catch the Sleeper Train to Surat Thani overnight to meet Patricia on Tuesday. Then we're getting the bus/ferry to Ko Samui. There then follows a lazy few days in a beach shack until the Full Moon Party on Sunday.

After that the plans involve travelling across Thailand to Phuket to see if there's anything we can do to help with the tsunami relief, then up the coast to see The Bridge Over The River Kwai, then up to Chang Mai to look at the sights.

By that time I should be exhausted, broke & disease-ridden so I may as well come home.

We'll see ...

K.

4 Weeks 'Til Thailand

September 8th I fly. To Bangkok. I'm trying to remember why I decided to go there. 5 weeks off work, I could have gone anywhere. I blame 'The Beach'. That Leo DiCaprio f*cking owes me big style.

But it'll be good.

You start thinking ... "What if I can't get back into my house cos the mail blocks the door". Or is that just me?

So I suppose this is the blog I'll update whilst I'm away. But I don't know many geeky f*ckers so no-one will read it. Tho' I will.

I hope you appreciate my grammar. It takes effort, you know?

K.

A Drunken Start

Hello.

You have to start somewhere, so I am starting here.

I wonder how honest I should be about the things I think, the actions I take & the anger I feel? There's a question.

Time will tell.

Let's see how this looks in my new blog.

K.